Flash forward a few months.
COVID hit.
I was starting to make some big changes in my life after this early 2020 ceremony (Part 1 link) . I was transitioning my business from a VibesUP NC retail shop to a hybrid shop with energy healing services and stepping into my power as a practitioner. This change had been calling me for a while. I am a big believer in integration (assimilation of what you learned into your daily life) after these kinds of ceremonies, ESPECIALLY any plant medicine ceremony. I was in the middle of launching my new brand, Hi-Frequency Healing, and sticking to the path of changing/growing from the lessons I took from January’s Grandmother/Kambo, but the pandemic had other lessons for me, as it did for so many of us.
This time span of a couple of months was soul crushing. I ended up closing the shop and healing space I had worked on building over the last couple of years.
Here I am. At home. Sitting with myself. All that work, down the drain, or so I thought (at the time). I do believe everything happens for a reason so I knew I just needed to keep trucking forward with what was placed in front of me. Step by step.
I am a busy body. I teach yoga, I host workshops, I network, I exercise, I go go go and run run run. I was now forced to slow down. This was so intensely uncomfortable for me. I knew I was working through some deep avoidance patterns. Avoiding the stillness, the calm, and the silence that at times was quite deafening. You see, I have carried this inner “buzzing” in me since I was a child. This sensation of anxiety and panic like I was in constant fight-or-flight mode. Why was I so unhappy? How have I created this outer shell of resilience, “self-love”, and ability to face it all, when inside I was so sad and full of grief...running from the things I did not want to face about myself.
The work is hard. The peeling back of layers is tough.
When we think we are vibin’ high and moving things along (as I really had some BIG shifts after the January ceremony), another layer comes up to be worked through. Layers and layers and layers. I am so thankful for all the lessons and the process and learning patience and gentleness with myself.
I knew it was time to sit with the medicine again in ceremony. Grandmother always comes to me in my dreams, letting me know it is time to work with her. I will be in ceremony with her (in my lucid dream state) and wake up the next day needing to integrate what I experienced in my dreams. I knew there was something deeply ingrained in my psyche that kept me from experiencing true joy, love, and a deep sense of peace in my 3D life. I was ready to face what came up and I knew it was time to sit with her and kambo again. This opportunity came in August 2020. I was so sad and unhappy throughout June and July that I
was READY to go wherever the medicine wanted to take me. No amount of discomfort in ceremony space could touch the day to day turmoil that my brain continued to put my body through. I was pretty good at putting on a show though...I often bury these thoughts very deep and it is a subtle but low buzzing in my consciousness.
Again, I was blessed by kambo and Grandmother. I had done my research this time. I knew much of the science behind how the peptides were working, I was learning the differences in animal medicine energy vs. plant medicine energy and I was ready for the “purge” hehe, as the first time I did not vomit. Still no upward purge in the traditional manner...my detoxing always comes in the form of lower bowel as I have struggled with constipation for many years. Also, I am suspecting that due to nine vertebrae fused at the age of 14 and two 12-inch metal rods being put on my spine, I might have some serious scar tissue limiting communication from my gut to my brain. The rods were removed when I was 24, but the scar tissue is just now starting to dissolve as I work through the layers and heal my physical and emotional body.
Wow!! This time, post-ceremony, I started my cycle in less than 24 hours. If you read my previous post, before kambo I had not had my menstrual cycle for almost four years. I did not go in with this intention, but the medicine goes where it needs to go and my body was obviously happy to get the energy moving.
Holy moly. I need to dig deeper with this and the call to the medicine was getting stronger and stronger.
It had been six months since my first time sitting with kambo. I found an amazing local practitioner, Carri Bindi, and told her I needed to go through the Warrior Series I had read about. Three Kambo sessions in one lunar cycle or three days in a row. Time to dig a little deeper with the frog! And that I did.
Gracias Grandmother. Gracias Kambo.
*To learn more about kambo and if it may be a good fit for you, please visit this link or reach out to Carly 336-403-6181*